Hi Students!
This week we are going to concentrate on writing one good, descriptive introductory paragraph. You are not writing a whole story. The purpose of an introductory paragraph is to hook the reader in wanting to read more. Think of the books you like to read and what hooks you in the beginning and keeps you reading on.
Do not restate the question or prompt when writing a creative lead sentence or ask a question, but you can begin with dialogue, stating an interesting fact, action, humor, character description, or setting. Here’s an example of a great lead sentence and introductory paragraph:
“Of all the kids in seventh grade at Camillo Junior High, there was one kid that Mrs. Baker hated with heat whiter than the sun. Me. And let me tell you, it wasn’t for anything I’d done. If it had been Doug Swieteck that Mrs. Baker hated, it would have made sense. Doug Sweiteck once made up a list of 410 ways to get a teacher to hate you. It began with “Spray deoderant in all her desk drawers” and got worse as it went along. A whole lot worse. I think things became illegal around Number 167. You don’t want to know what Number 400 was, and you really don’t want to know what 410 was” (Schmidt 1).
Wouldn’t you want to keep reading to find out more about the narrator and Doug Swieteck?
Using the image below, write an introductory paragraph to a story about the inhabitant of that castle/house/fort. The directions ask you to imagine, explain, and describe who lives there. Be clever and creative with the opening sentence and build from there. Use your brilliant and inventive imaginations and descriptive words. Be specific. The last sentence of this paragraph should leave the reader wanting to read more about this character and his/her/its story. This may be something you continue to work on at a later date.
One good paragraph.
Off the rocky coast of Ireland, in the middle of the ocean on a isolated island, there is an old stone castle. For many hundreds of years the McSorley family lived in the castle. The McSorleys were a very odd family, they rarely left the castle much. The McSorley family consists of Mr. Shane McSorley and his wife Kelly. They also have three kids named Seamus, Aengus, and one girl named Megan. They are all very tall with fire red hair and pale blue eyes. What makes this family extraordinary is that they are wizards. Every day they learn new spells. Megan likes to work with animals, so she focuses on spells that help or make animals feel better. The boys work on battle spells for when bad Wizards might come along. The parents teach them how to do the spells correctly. Megan also gets taught how to brew potions. Megan sometimes makes drinks for everyone at dinner. She sometimes pulls a sneaky prank and puts a little potion into her brothers drinks and then turns them into green, slimy, warty frogs. Most days are quiet and peaceful on the island, but one day a horrible event happens that changes their lives forever.
Nicely done, Brendan!
Thank you
Great job Brendan, Megan kind of reminds me of Aliyah.
That was awesome brendo!
I’m no normal eleven-year-old girl. My name is Sophie. I am a short blond haired brown-eyed girl. I was born on the streets in Florida, and I have lived there ever since. My parents died when I was eight so I was forced to live on my own, but I did meet a friend. Her name is McKenna and I’ve been with her all my life. She is eleven too. She has red hair and freckles all over her face. Her hair is tangled and messy, but it still looks better than mine. We always lived on the streets together begging for food. I just kept wishing and hoping that my life would change. It was miserable. I was almost always crying or whining. Nobody ever noticed me. Until, one day a man came up to me. He was wearing an all black suit, and a white shirt underneath. I could tell he was tired because he had dark circles around his eye, and he had on two different socks.
“I assume your Sophie the daughter of Paul and Margret,” he said firmly.
“Yes,” I answered.
“Well then come with me, and you can bring your friend,” he said. I held on to McKenna He shoved McKenna and me in the car.
Great Job!
Good job, Sophie……but who lives in that house? Go back and edit this post to fit the prompt.
I’m no normal eleven-year-old girl. My name is Sophie. I am a short blond haired brown-eyed girl. I was born on the streets in Florida, and I have lived there ever since. My parents died when I was eight so I was forced to live on my own, but I did meet a friend. Her name is McKenna and I’ve been with her all my life. She is eleven too. She has red hair and freckles all over her face. Her hair is tangled and messy, but it still looks better than mine. We always lived on the streets together begging for food. I just kept wishing and hoping that my life would change. It was miserable. I was almost always crying or whining. Nobody ever noticed me. Until, one day a man came up to me. He was wearing an all black suit, and a white shirt underneath. I could tell he was tired because he had dark circles around his eyes, and he had on two different socks.
“I assume you’re Sophie the daughter of Paul and Margret,” he said firmly.
“Yes,” I answered.
“Well then come with me, and you can bring your friend,” he said. I held on to McKenna. He shoved McKenna and me in the car.
“You are part of the Johnson family. Your parents never told you that your family has lived in a unique house for generations and generations. Since your grandparents just died you are the last of the Johnson family. You need take good care of the house. Oh, and by the way there’s something different about the house, very different,” whispered the man.
Johnny DeVitt has been a man on the run from the cops for 45 years. He built a house on a hill two miles away from the town just so no one would suspect he is a crimnal. He learned to be a farmer and grow his owm food and raised his owm animals so he wouldn’t have to do with anything with the outside world.
More details about the character needed, Austin. Also, where would he farm and raise animals at this house?
Sorry, Mrs. Cobb, I meant own food and own animals, not owm
There’s a sentence at the end: What did Johnny DeVitt do to go to such great lengths?
I think that Count Dracula is the resident of this spooky mansion which is located on the rocky coast of Translyvania. The dark windows and heavy curtains are perfect for keeping the room as dark as night so a vampire like him can get his beauty sleep during the day. This leaves his nights free to search for new blood, and create a new generation of vampires. The mansion has many large rooms which allow him to have many unsuspecting guests over who don’t realize they are on the menu for the evening! I think the bridge would be rotted,creaky, and not usable. because the mist off the water. The fog adds to the creepiness of the house. and the water is the only way to escape. That’s why I picked Count Dracula.
I could see Count Dracula living here! CAn you edit this post using this informations as an introductory paragraph to a story? Rather than tell me who lives here as you did, write it as a narration.
I never knew what I really was until 1939, Halloween night. I always thought I was a wizard because I was always surrounded by witches and wizards. But I was smaller, had pointy ears, and rode on the back end of the broom stick with another witch or wizard. I don’t usually eat at the table with the others but when I do I notice that I eat different foods. And when I play with the kids my toys are different and they pet me like I’m some kind of animal. So on Halloween night when all the others did the yearly tradition of riding the broom stick I choose to stay home instead and roamed the house into the room of mirrors. I looked into one of the mirrors and saw a cute, fluffy, black cat and that is when I found out I was not a witch or wizard but the companion of one I was a black cat.
Creative story, Camille! Any way you can add the cat to this house? There is no mention of who lives in this particular house…..could be any house!
I meant to write chose instead of choose and there should be a comma after the words but and one in the last sentence.
Deep in a forest in Costa Rica, lives two married but mysterious people. Marge, the older of the two, has magical powers. She uses her magical powers to hide her house. Marge uses her powers to hide her house in the mountains nearby. Peter, Marge’s husband, who also has magical powers, uses them to find food. Peter uses his powers to make food appear on the kitchen table. Marge and Peter each have a favorite room in the house. Marges favorite room in the house is the indoor petting zoo. The indoor peting zoo is Marge’s favorite room because she is obsessed with animals. The hippo, Ron, is Marge’s favorite animal because he gives her rides on his back. Peter favorite room in the house is the indoor flower garden at the top of the tallest tower. He loves to plant flowers and to watch them grow. Overall, Marge and Peter like living in their house. Together, they like to climb the mountain in their backyard, and practice their magic. The reason Marge and Peter live in such a big house is because they both graduated at the top of their classes from the College of Fine Magic, and got very good jobs. But now, they are retired, so they practice their magic in peace.
Wonderful, Matthieu!
good job
Yesterday, an innocent person was accused of being bewitched. Today is August 3rd, 1692. It’s been a horrible day in Salem, Massachusetts. My sister has been accused of witchcraft. It’s the middle of the Salem Witch Trails. People have been accused right and left. Last night, our servant, Ann got very sick. Everybody, even a real doctor told us that she had been bewitched. It wasn’t until next morning when the fingers began pointing to my sister Lucy who was only four years old. Lucy who is still young enough to sleep with our mother! She didn’t saw a word in her court case, just cried and whimpered. I watched the whole thing with tears in my eyes. I couldn’t take it any more. “it’s me”, I screamed.I was lying. I didn’t even believe in witchcraft.
“ Annie Wilshire, is guilty for committing witchcraft” everybody gasped.Now I’m sitting in jail waiting for the sun to rise so I can be sentenced to death. Then I realize something, the bars are just big enough for my tiny 12 year-old body to slide though. I run and run and slowly my run turns into a walk. I walked for days with no food or water. Then I found it, a huge Castle. It looked as if a giant took beautiful, but diverse pieces of architecture and glued them together. I knocked on the door, but it creaked open. It had been vacant for years! I’ve been living here for almost a year now. It’s very different from the farm in Massachusetts. I don’t know who lived in the house before me. Though It’s filled with food, and there’s a whole garden out back. One evening after my dinner, I stood on the highest balcony watching the sun set through my pale blue eyes. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind sent me tumbling over the balcony. My whitish blonde hair danced around my face as I plummeted to the ground. I was sure this was the end. Then a broomstick flew out of it’s home in the closet to between my legs.We flew over the highest turret. Then reality hit me, or is it even reality? I’m flying on a broomstick! But wait what rides on broomsticks again?
Enjoyable to read, Olivia! I have a great suggestion for a book on the Salem witch trials if you are interested!
I meant “ Annie Wilshire, is guilty for committing witchcraft”. Everybody gasped.
I’m Sarah Lee Adams. I am 12 years old with brown hair and blue eyes. I am not looking forward to moving to shadow lane. The mansion that I will live in is supposedly haunted. My parents new that we should live here, but why? I mean, out of all places they choose this?! As we pulled into the drive way of the rusty, and scary house, I felt a chill running down my spine. When I went into my room, it didn’t look so bad. I might be able to like it here after all!….Well, that’s what I thought.
Great start, Senna! Can you add a few more details? Is there a driveway to this house? How else might you get here?
Thanks Mrs. Cobb! There is a driveway and you can get there by a car and a train. I will put more details in next time. Thanks again!
It was a normal day in a normal town until the whole town got covered in very thick fog. This was no ordinary fog, this was a very eerie fog with a green tint. No one could see anything. Then without warning, the fog cleared up, but the only building in sight was a giant mansion that looked deserted. Everyone had disappeared. The only way to get in was a rickety old wooden bridge. I hastened before crossing the bridge, but I should not have crossed at all.
As soon as I stepped on to the bridge, large white ghosts surrounded me on all sides, but I kept walking, and they followed. I finally reached the gigantic door, and when I was about to knock the door opened and in the doorway stood the most wanted criminal since 1975. He had comitted a terrible crime and then gone missing. His name is Evan Everheart and he is currently the only person in history to rob every bank in the U.S. I guess that is how he has this house. He snatched me and took me inside the mansion and locked me in the basement. That is all I remember.
Oh good start, William. What does Evan look like?
Far down in the rocky moutains lives the Verey old and rinkily woman Ms. Marsh It is said that she will only come out of that rickidy and old looking house ounce every three years at the end of that time she will have a stack of news mail on the porch. The reason why she is so cranky is that in 1996 she had lost her husband. It now seems as if she devoted her life to be so cranky and mean. She does not have any grandchirldren or regular son nor a daughter. Every ounce and a while you can see some smoke come throught the chemny and we know that Ms. Marsh is still alive.
Love the last line, Tate! Can you add any more details? Why does she come out of the house every three years?
September 25, 1919: Jonny Macmillan has been on the most wanted list for 20 years now and has not been spotted at all. It is said that he lives in a massive castle/mansion for his whole life. After his murder of Louis Redenbacher in 1899, he has not been seen anywhere. It is thought that Jonny died in his house years ago, but his house was never found. The only known picture was taken in 1861, about 150 years after it was built. Some people claimed that they were Jonny, but they were proved wrong. Where is Jonny Macmillan?
Jonny was last seen wearing a blue shirt and brown pants. He looked like he was in his 30′s. It is unknown if he was married and had any kids.
Nicely done, Thomas, and good job adding in the extra info.
They thing I’m normal, ha their wrong. I’m not some silly witch or what ever. I’m a stig it means your immortal and you can talk to anything. I know, I know, it sounds weird but truthfully it’s not. My name is Zeri. I have curly blond hair, blue eyes, tan skin, and I am very petite. I am 91. But still look like 11. Now were moving from Florida all the way to the outskirts of Seattle, to this weird mansion. It’s all old and creepy. It didn’t make the best impression. Wait, what was that no, no, let go. HELP!! Can help Zeri?
Great ending, Makaylah! Can you add some details to the mid part of your story to connect the move to the house and your last two lines?
In the second sentence I messed up, I meant to say ‘It is said that he lived in a massive castle/mansion for his whole life.’
Why couldn’t we have just stayed in New York? It all started one afternoon when my parents told me we were moving. Oh, by the way I’m Eric Flint. Just a normal thirteen year old with brown hair, and bright green eyes. Well… actually the normal part was true. One week later we pulled up to the the ugliest house I’d ever seen, that was supposed to be called my new home. It was located on the outskirts of Washington. The inside wasn’t as bad, but the unusual thing was me room. It had long black walls with no windows. My parents told me that it would be painted, and they would put windows, but… well lets just say they didn’t live to do it. I just wished I stayed in New York.
Good start to a story, Carlos! Any more details?
“Mom, this is the perfect place to live!” I shouted out from the car window outside of a big mansion. I am Jonah Munk a blond fifth grader with a passion for mysteries. For some reason, ever since I was a little boy I have always dreamed of time traveling. My parents have always told me to focus on something more important in life though, like getting a job, and getting married when I was older.
We were trying to move from a little green hut to a fun, exciting house that is able to fit six kids, two adults, a dog, a lizard, and a goldfish. The next day the deal had been sealed and from then on we owned the house. As I walked cautiously up the long, twisted, black stairs I noticed a small door in the step above me. Without hesitation I reached and twisted the mini handle. A tiny screech sprang out from the dusty door as it swung open. As I peered into the doorway, I saw a miniature man. Confusion suddenly popped into my mind. He looked up at me and then looked away. Minutes later he stood up and recited his name. “I am Jonah Munk, a time traveler.”
Wonderful, Emma! Was not expecting the twist!
Thank you!
Great job
There was once a huge island with a whole city on it. It was a peaceful land here, actually quite beautiful to if you ask me. On this island there was a lot of people that lived here and almost all of them were normal, except one very odd family that was completely different from everyone else. This family has never came out of there house in there whole life, and if you ask me how do I know if someone even lives there, I would say that I know because every morning there lights go on and every night there lights go off. In the family there was a mom, dad and two kids, the way we know that is because one day this one man was so brave that he traveled all the way to the house and he saw that the lights were on and decided to look inside, and just for one moment he saw the shadow of two small kids a tall man with short hair and a tall woman with long hair, and when he came back he told everyone the news, including me. All the houses on this island were small, except for the house that the odd family lived in, this house was gigantic with a waterfall and palm trees, they had everything! And now for the weird part, this island looks like a circle, except for this one part of it that shoots strait out miles and miles away, so far out that if you stand at the front door of the house you cant even see one of the houses in the actual city, even on a clear day. But we will never know if the family moves, but someday they just might.
Very descriptive paragraph, Alex! Any more specific details about the family that lives there?
Thanks
Very creative Alex!
nice job Alex
I really liked it you are super creative.
He looked like anyone else you might meet on the street, except for one in your face feature, his eyes. They looked like black dots without an end, like you could fall into them and never come out, and that is what happens to some.
Mr.Janker, Mrs.Janker, and their little daughter Susie live in this house. They got washed out of there house because of a hurricane. So one day they found this house and unpacked the few pairs of clothes they still had and settled in. One day Susie realized that she has blond hair and blue eyes, but her parents had dark brown hair and brown eyes. She had no idea that she was about to find out why. While Susie was playing with her toys she found a letter beside the door. This letter was addressed to her in big bold letters SUSIE JANKER. She slowly opened the letter, and a little piece of paper fell out it read ASHER’S in big bold letter’s. She was sad and then extremely confused, because she had no idea who it was from or why someone would sent her this.
Oh a mystery! I’d like to know more, Sydney!
Down in the castle through the rusty window sat Mrs Paru staring at the river. Everyday Mr. and Mrs Paru had to travel outside to go down the riverbank and collect fresh water for their family. Libby their 12 year old daghter also had chores that had to be shared with their maid Marta. She was the only one that kept Libby company with her parents being to old to do anything with her. Although the entire palace was surrounded by a dark forest that Libby was supposively forbidden to go in. What they did’nt know is that every evening right after dinner Libby would tiptoe outside and quickly cross the river to the vast forest. It was the only place she felt free, as if she had escaped from the world.
After dinner in the medow she sat quietly and was careful not to draw attention to herself while she was out of the house. Now blocking her face to prevent the hot sun beating down. She lifted her ears careful to pick up every note of the high pitched birds frocklicking above her. Not paying attention as the castle door opened, and after all these years she knew little that one of her biggest sercets was about to be revealed.
Great job, Felina! I would like to learn a little more about Libby!
In a land unknown, there is a crazy, old and large stone castle called, Evil Island. There is one resident in the castle known as Mr. Killz. Legend has it that Mr. Killz robbed Old American bank and is hidden in his castle with all of the money. My friend says he has been inside the castle watching Mr. Killz count his money. He described Mr. Killz as a pale, tall, skinny, deadly and bird-like old man. Rumor has it the police were too scared to arrest him because of all of the children and pets missing on the island. There is one way on and off the island, an old wooden bridge. No one has seen Mr. Killz out of his castle. I wonder how he gets his supplies such as food and water. I hope I learn more about this mysterious man, Mr. Killz.
Good job, Thomas! Curious as to how the friend got inside!
Good job
On an island in the center of the Bermuda triangle is the one and only blood island. The only man that lives on blood island is No Face Man. Legend has it that No Face Man was never seen from anyone in the whole world. People only no one thing about him. That he lives in the castle that is surrounded by death traps. One person has tried to see No Face Man and failed to come in human contact with him. No Face Man has ever came in contact with any living lifeform because he wants the living life to come and find him.
Years ago a man named Roy lived in a old house that was in Spain, and the house was known to be haunted. The house was isolated from civilization, and very big. Roy was a man who liked to be alone with his turtle sam because he had no friends or family. Roy’s 100 year old house was always making weird sounds, and always felt a bad vibe at night! The house was built in 1912, and a family of four vanished forever in that house, and never seen again. When Roy moved in he loved it at first sight and never wanted to leave, because he loved old houses. The thing that know one ever figured out was that, why would a single man buy a mansion for him only? The only way to get to the house is to go across a rocky, and dangerous bridge that could cause serious injuries. The last letter that was written by Roy said, “help the bridge just broke and i’m stuck here, I think i’m not alone”.
read to find out more of what happend to Roy and his 100 year old mansion.
Ok Ms. Cobb I will the reason why she come out only three times a year is because she doesn’t like the sound of the waterfall behind the house. She also reall doesn’t like the hot and could weather.There is one more rumor why she doesn’t like to come out and it is she does not like to walk some say that she just sits there and reads and or watches TV.
I am on the coast of Scotland. My car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I don’t have any bars on my phone so I start to climb to the top of rocks looking for cell service. Until I finally give up so I climb up a rock I lay down and my head is hanging off the side of the rock. Then I saw the house it was big, scary looking, and very hard to reach. It looked about 3 miles away. I started to run with all the strength I had left but that didn’t last one hundred yards. So it was going to be a long journey over the tall jagged rocks. When I got there I knocked on the door and not even a second later the door opened before I could say anything they said come in. It was almost as if they were expecting me because food was all ready out. Finally I was able to tell them my name and what happened. They told me their names were Ben and Abigail Morrison they were the nicest people in the world then they told me that they new I was coming because they had magic. After all the food and talking they flew me to my car and with there wands they fixed the car so I could be on my way. We still keep in touch by writing letters to each other. I will never forget how nice they are.
Oooh a penny! All I could find was a penny in this big house house! That’s Penney a little girl hoping to find big dreams in her misterious house. Penny has 6 sisters I brother and she lives only with her dad. Her mom died in a terrible storm. Penny tries to find the mysterious mystery in the house and goes on some adventures along the way climbing in paintings a ghost boy and a red haired lady penny has a long way to go before she finds the mystery… Will she ever find it?
My brother dared me to go in but then he locked it. So i’m stuck in here with only spiders, rats, and my wits. I felt my way though trying to reach a flash light.I found a table my hands were now gliding across the table. Then my hand touted cold steal. I drew my hands back frightened by the sudden chill that went across my hand. The peace of steal suddenly started to glow I could make it out for a few moments because it stoped glowing. It looked like a knife I place my hand on the blade and it started to glow again. It had a some kind of writing on that looked like latten but I was not sure. I held it and tons of thoughts ran threw my mind it was like it had a memory I saw wars, a golden staff, a mans face and his faint voice saying “you are the one who save us all.
His brother loved him in his basement I forgot to add that.
My name is Summer Jackson, and I just turned 13. I never believed in vampires, till I moved in to my new neighboorhood, and discovered that one lived on my street. It happened in the middle of the school year when I was selling girl scout cookies door to door, and I went to the spooky mansion at the end of the street. I walked up the overgrown pathway to the huge wooden front door, and I rang the doorbell but it didn’t work, so I used the rusty, old knocker. I was daydreaming about the mint and samaos cookies I had already sold when the scariest, oldest man I had ever seen swung open the front door. He had pale white skin, dark black hair, black nail polish, and the reddiest eyes I had ever seen! The scariest part of his face though was his shiny, white, pointy fangs, and that’s when I began to wish my girl scout friends had joined me on this adventure.
There is a legend, but nobody knows if it’s true, that the old mayor of Dinglesburg lives there. He went totally insane 10 years ago, and randomly started bawling during an interview and ran off somewhere. He has not been seen since, but everyone in the town says that that is where he lives, and every night at midnight, he goes out of his house and goes fishing in the river with his mouth, hoping to catch a mullet. One fifteen year old kid four years ago named Seamus went out to the house at midnight to see if the story was true, and he went missing. Four months later, he arrived on the doorstep of his own house wearing onesie pajamas, soaked, curled up into a ball sucking his thumb, and had an odd smell of peppermint mixed with some metallic substance. To this day, Seamus doesn’t recall any of the four months that he was gone or even going to the house! Now, Seamus goes to the Dinglesburg Community College, and visits a psychiatrist at 9:00 AM and 7:00 PM every day, and his mother has to read him a story by Eric Carle to him every night, or else he demands a gallon of peppermint stick ice cream. Nobody has gone within 5 miles ever since the Seamus incident, and I have a pretty good idea that nobody ever will.
The former mayor of Dinglesburg’s name was Kevin Hart. Mr. Hart had a wife and a dog named Rex. He was a pretty normal person, until Rex ran away, two weeks before he ran away. During those two weeks, he was saying that baby stores, candy shops, and car factories were extremely bad for the economy, and would always read “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” to himself and his wife for no reason. He would just take it out of his pocket and start reading even if he was in the middle of a sentence. He also had a craving for mullet during those two weeks. That may tell you a lot about the Seamus story, and the legend of Mr. Hart trying to catch a mullet with his teeth at midnight.
I woke up at 12:00AM on a cold dark rainy night, to ,y mom screaming bloody murder. I had jumped out of bed and I ran to her to help, but when I got to her room nobody was there. All that was there was my mom in the corner with her hands bleeding and her blood on the mirror. I asked her what happened but she was speechless. I saw that she was trying to talk but she was having a panic attack.
I woke up at 12:00AM on a cold dark rainy night, to ,y mom screaming bloody murder. I had jumped out of bed and I ran to her to help, but when I got to her room nobody was there. All that was there was my mom in the corner with her hands bleeding and her blood on the mirror. I asked her what happened but she was speechless. I saw that she was trying to talk but she was having a panic attack.
Sorry ms. Cobb I ment to my mom screaming
over summer a little girl named Holly went on tour in the Hawaiian islands to see a house that was 163 years old. when the tour guide took her on a loop around the house she wanted to take a few pictures, so she did. When Holly got home, she went into her darkroom to dye the pictures. when she was finished and they dried, Holly took a closer look at them then realized something that she didn’t before. there was a shadow figure of a man looking right into the camera lens with bright red eyes the color of an ember.
sorry ms cobb i wrote a beter one