Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
There is too much left out of this story. Who were Jack and Jill? How did they go up that hill? Did they walk? Ride a horse? Drive in a car? Why did they need a pail of water? Why didn’t they just turn on the faucet? What made Jack fall down? How far did he fall? How serious was his “crown” injury? What made Jill tumble? Was she hurt?
Rewrite the story, filling in details to tell us what really happened. (Unjournaling, DiPrince, Thurston 34)